1 in 3 girls and 1 in 7 boys will be sexually abused before the age of 18......i know these statistics are startling but, the reality is that it happens.....and it happened to me.
That is why i have dedicated my life to "Breaking the silence of child sex abuse" and helping adult survivors overcome their past abuse. My goals are not only to educate parents and caregivers on the signs and symptoms of abuse, but to help people understand that most of the time symptoms from this form of abuse dont show up until later in life. Syptoms can include Post tramatic sress disorder, OCD, Eating disorders, drug and alcohol abuse, and the
MOST DEVESTATING OF ALL:
sometimes the victim becomes the abuser
learn the signs and symptoms that a child is being molested or abused
what can you do as a parent or caregiver:
visit
Any one sign doesn't mean that a child was sexually abused, but the presence of several suggests that you begin asking questions and consider seeking help. Keep in mind that some of these signs can emerge at other times of stress such as:
- During a divorce
- Death of a family member or pet
- Problems at school or with friends
- Other anxiety-inducing or traumatic events
Behavior you may see in a child or adolescent- Has nightmares or other sleep problems without an explanation
- Seems distracted or distant at odd times
- Has a sudden change in eating habits
- Refuses to eat
- Loses or drastically increases appetite
- Has trouble swallowing.
- Sudden mood swings: rage, fear, insecurity or withdrawal
- Leaves “clues” that seem likely to provoke a discussion about sexual issues
- Writes, draws, plays or dreams of sexual or frightening images
- Develops new or unusual fear of certain people or places
- Refuses to talk about a secret shared with an adult or older child
- Talks about a new older friend
- Suddenly has money, toys or other gifts without reason
- Thinks of self or body as repulsive, dirty or bad
- Exhibits adult-like sexual behaviors, language and knowledge
Signs more typical of younger children- An older child behaving like a younger child (such as bed-wetting or thumb sucking)
- Has new words for private body parts
- Resists removing clothes when appropriate times (bath, bed, toileting, diapering)
- Asks other children to behave sexually or play sexual games
- Mimics adult-like sexual behaviors with toys or stuffed animal
- Wetting and soiling accidents unrelated to toilet training
Signs more typical in adolescents
- Self-injury (cutting, burning)
- Inadequate personal hygiene
- Drug and alcohol abuse
- Sexual promiscuity
- Running away from home
- Depression, anxiety
- Suicide attempts
- Fear of intimacy or closeness
- Compulsive eating or dieting
Physical warning signs
Physical signs of sexual abuse are rare. If you see these signs, bring your child to a doctor. Your doctor can help you understand what may be happening and test for sexually transmitted diseases.
- Pain, discoloration, bleeding or discharges in genitals, anus or mouth
- Persistent or recurring pain during urination and bowel movements
- Wetting and soiling accidents unrelated to toilet training
Browsing the World Wide Web
Exploring information on world-wide computer networks, usually by using a browser such as Netscape Navigator or Microsoft Internet Explorer
Positive Benefits for Your Child
- Access rich educational and cultural resources (text, sounds, pictures, and video) otherwise unavailable to most people
- Obtain up-to-the-minute information
- Improve ability to understand and evaluate information
- Stay informed by accessing your community and school Web sites
- Play fun and educational games
- Learn educational skills useful in future jobs
Dangers/Risks
- Easy-to-find sites with sexually explicit images and text
- Easy-to-find sites promoting hatred, bigotry, violence, drugs, cults, and other things not appropriate for children
- Inaccurate, misleading, and untrue information
- No restrictions on marketing products such as alcohol and tobacco to children
- Marketing that deceptively collects personal information from kids in order to sell products to them or their parents
- Requests for personal information for contests, surveys, etc., that are used in unauthorized ways
- Easy access to games with excessive violence and gender stereotypes
Parenting Tips
- Keep computer in family area to better monitor your child's activity
- Regularly spend time online with your child to learn about his or her interests and activities
- Teach your child to end any experience online when he or she feels uncomfortable or scared by pressing the back key, logging off, and telling a trusted adult as soon as possible
- Establish an atmosphere of trust and understanding with your child by not blaming him or her for uncomfortable online experiences
- Discuss the difference between advertising and educational or entertaining content and show your child examples of each
- Establish strict rules for ordering products (and then monitor credit card bills)
- "Talk back" to Internet Service Providers and content creators to let them know what you want and expect from them in keeping kids safe online
What Parental Control Can Do
- Block access to materials (text and pictures) identified as inappropriate for kids*
- Permit access only to materials specifically approved as safe for kids*
- Allow you to specify what types of materials are appropriate for your child
- Help you monitor your child's activity on the Internet by storing names of sites and/or snapshots of material seen by your child on the computer for you to view later
- Allow you to set different restrictions for each family member
- Limit results of an Internet search to content appropriate for kids
- Enforce time limits set by parents
* Each control tool determines whether materials are "inappropriate" or "safe for kids" differently. Make sure you ask what criteria the tool uses and how the evaluation process works; then check out the tool yourself.
Chatting
Reading messages from others as they are typing them, usually in the theme-specific "chat rooms"
Positive Benefits for Your Child
- Develop relationships with children and adults around the world
- Talk to kids and teens with similar interests and concerns, in rooms specifically for kids that are monitored closely by adults
- Communicate instantaneously with family, friends, teachers, community leaders, etc.
Dangers/Risks
- Offensive language and adult conversation
- Because of its interactive nature, the most likely activity online through which children will encounter people who want to harm them
- Too much time online which limits a child's well-rounded development by taking the place of friends, schoolwork, sports and other activities
Parenting Tips
- Accompany your child in chat rooms until he or she learns your safety rules
- Teach your child never to give out personal information such as his or her name or address, school name or address, or anything else that is personally identifying
- Explain that people are not always who they say they are
- Set a rule that your child never arranges an in-person meeting without you present
- Limit your child to specific chat rooms or consider blocking out chat entirely
What Parental Control Tools Can Do
- Allow access only to monitored chat rooms or block access to all chat rooms
- Block private messages between a child and another user
- Limit your child's ability to give out personal information
NOTE: Other activities on the Internet, including newsgroups, bulletin boards, and listserves, have benefits and risks comparable to those listed above. You should exercise similar cautions with your child in these arenas.
Parental Control Tools
Where Can I Find Them?
There are three primary places from which parents can obtain parental control tools with the features described in this brochure.
Keep an eye on other parental control tools, such as "safe areas" for kids, new types of rating systems, and search engines designed to find only information that has been approved for families.
What Can Parental Control Tools Do?
Every tool includes some of the features listed inside this brochure. Decide which features are best for your family, and ask your ISP or local store which product/service meets your needs.
What Can They Not Do?
No parental control tool is 100% reliable. Not only do tools inadvertently allow access to some inappropriate material and block access to some valuable information, but savvy children may be able to get around the controls.
NOTE: Any mention of a product in this brochure is for example only and does not constitute an endorsement.
Resources
The Children's Partnership, The Parents' Guide to the Information Superhighway. Free online at
www.childrenspartnership.org
or for $5 by contacting 1351 3rd Street Promenade, Suite 206, Santa Monica, CA, 90401, (310) 260-1220 (310) 260-1220
Aftab, Parry,
A Parents' Guide To The Internet, October, 1997. At your local library or bookstore. See also
www.familyguidebook.com.
- American Library Association, The Librarian's Guide To Cyberspace For Parents & Kids. Free online at
www.ala.org/parentspage/greatsites
or by contacting ALA Public Information Office, 50 E. Huron St., Chicago, IL 60611, (800) 545-2433 or (800) 545-2433 .
